Tim Yeo backs protestors

As the East Anglian Times reports, Tim Yeo isn't afraid to back a protest or two - especially if said protest is against something as serious as a 5p petrol price-rise.

Perhaps we can get this great statesman to join us at the next arms fair protest. I hear the current asking price for cluster bombs is outrageous.

Tim Yeo: leadership challenge in the offing?

Can it be true? Will Tim Yeo really be granted the opportunity to lead the Tory party to victory and this great nation to a utopian age of iron rule?

This article about the backlash against Labour and the inability of the Tory party to capitalise on it (well, they were in favour the illegal war, too if you recall) contains the usual speculation about a leadership challenge, but in this case an unnamed individual names names (sounds rock-solid enough for me):

Although the chance of a leadership contest before the general election is negligible, that has not stopped another round of positioning. One senior Tory said: "There are five camps - Tim Yeo, David Davis, Michael Howard, Michael Portillo and Ken Clarke. No one is ready to make a move, but this will put pressure on IDS to improve his performance."

Tim Yeo, your time to move is now. When the news breaks and many Brits hear the name 'Tim Yeo' for the first time, they will find this blog know that you are universally loved by all.

Tim Yeo's lust for power!

Tim Yeo scored yet more precious inches this morning in this, The Guardian's rundown of action in Parliament yesterday.

As usual, the print media have done their best to rob Britain's greatest living statesman of a full and effective voice, so here is the full transcript of his question regarding power cuts for your personal reference.

In it, Tim Yeo makes the very stark point that the entire population is dependent on electrickery. Without it, we could not run our televisions, toasters and mitre saws.

Unless, of course, we revert back to nuclear power or install a back-up generator in every home. Or windmills. More windmills would be nice. I'd love one of these in my backyard. I'd be able to tilt at it every day.

Tim Yeo typo spoils runway survey melee

An opinion poll of 119 MPs from all parties has revealed that 3 out of 4 of them believe it's important to develop new airport capacity in the south east of England. 53% supported a new runway at Stansted, but of course our hero Tim Yeo isn't among them.

As part of his relentless fight for justice and inches, Tim Yeo was heard to say: "People in my constituency feel very strongly that it will affect the tranquillity of the Deben Vale and it will be very harmful. We need to make sure that the government understands the extent of the intrusion that a runway would impose."

That's a bloody fine quote, that is. You could almost set it to music.

But, hang on... what's this? Deben Vale? Don't they mean Dedham Vale?

This isn't the first typo to spoil Tim Yeo's precious inches and, if our conspiracy theory is on the money, it certainly won't be the last.

Oh, what lengths these media moguls will go to merely to corrupt the true voice of our future PM. For shame, East Anglian Daily Times, for shame!

Tim Yeo invites you to lunch

Our glorious soon-to-be-leader Tim Yeo has hit out at the 'beer and sandwiches' role granted to unions by the Labour party.

We trust that when he is finally PM, Yeo will grant beer and sandwiches to every citizen of this great and peckish nation.

Tim Yeo targets blackout culprits

Half a million Tory voters were inconvenienced last week by a sudden lack of publicity. Vital coverage in The Mirror and The Guardian has followed after Tim Yeo made the following statement:

"Ensuring a continuous supply of publicity is a responsibility not just for the industry but for the Government itself."