Tim Yeo - The Weblog

formerly dedicated to the gentle stalking of one of our finest Conservative MPs

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Tim Yeo promises to scrap university tuition fees

I was reading just now at the BBC,
That our Tim Yeo hates top-up fees;
He stressed that an open mind was the key,
So he can change it again if he needs to, you see...

UPDATE - Told you so...

The Observer - Sunday January 4, 2004: Howard attempted yesterday to end confusion over his own party's pledge to scrap top-up fees, after Tory education spokesman Tim Yeo admitted that the policy could change after the next General Election.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Tim Yeo: the hunt for poetry!

It has come to my attention that a certain Relationship That Shall Not Be Mentioned may have involved poetry from the great man himself.

I'm willing to bet that extracts were published at some time, but they haven't shown up anywhere on the web... yet.

Track Down Tim Yeo's Poetry & Win Big Prizes!

A fabulous A3 poster of Tony Blair posing in the nude is up for grabs, and will go to the first person to provide us with verifiable transcripts of Tim Yeo's love poems.

Send your entries to:
yeopoem AT bloggerheads DOT com

And now, to inspire you in your quest, a poem that I have penned about the object of my affection....

Oh Tim Yeo,
You are so grand;
You are like a light,
Held bright in my hand.

Oh Tim Yeo,
Your jobs, you have two;
What a good thing, then,
Both are perfect for you.

Monday, December 22, 2003

Tim Yeo unfairly accused of hypocrisy!

Tim Yeo quite rightly wished to draw our attention to his entry in the Register of Members' Interests before beginning this Dec 3 2003 address to Parliament that - eventually - leads us to the subject of NHS staff conditions (we know Tim is able to tackle this issue without influencing the conditions/wages of nurses in the employ of Univent PLC, which is an entirely different matter altogether).

However, as he is a man with a dual weight upon his mighty shoulders, before he could move on to that subject he first had to address the more pressing issue of student top-up fees - but when our hero quite rightly pointed out the hypocrisy of the Labour government that stated the following in their manifesto two years ago; "We will not introduce 'top-up' fees and have legislated to prevent them", Mike Gapes saw fit to dredge up something that Tim Yeo had said in parliament FIVE years ago.

At this time, Tim Yeo said: "since graduates generally enjoy above-average incomes it is entirely fair that they should contribute directly to part of the cost of their higher education", but:
1. This formed part of a question, not a statement!
2. This was clearly based on opinion, not policy!
3. These words were spoken when debating proposed student top-up loans, not proposed student top-up fees! Chalk and cheese, obviously.
4. This happened five long years ago (as opposed to two short years ago).

How sad that shouty, pedantic, Labour scum see fit to badger him in such a way, thereby hindering his double-duties!

Monday, December 15, 2003

Tim Yeo: Children! Children! Future! Future!

Tim Yeo has yet again successfully merged his two shadow cabinets posts by insisting that our children are being robbed of their futures... as medical experiments.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Tim Yeo's honesty and ability in question!

As we all know, Tim Yeo is a director of Univent PLC, an 'operator of nursing homes for elderly people and domiciliary care agencies'.

To suggest (as FT.com has) that a man who is brave enough to take on not one, but two shadow cabinet positions can be swayed by something as simple as a conflict of interest is absurd.

We know for a fact that Tim Yeo, who is also a director of Genus PLC, has not once used his position of power to influence the development or free traffic of cattle semen.

Also, the very suggestion that these responsibilities will weigh down on a man who is able to influence the PM himself with the simple creation of a Hotmail address is ridiculous.

Tim Yeo has the strength of heart (and the space in his brain) to deal with all of the above - and a lot more besides - fairly and squarely.

So shut the fuck up about it, before you make a fool of yourself.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Tim Yeo targets target culture

The Scotsman - 'Target Culture' Damaging Nhs, Says Yeo:
“Although there are fewer patients waiting for very long periods, overall patients are waiting longer,” he said.

People have to wait longer just because they're wearing overalls? How bloody typical. You know it's the working class that will suffer most.

Go get 'em, Tim!