Tim Yeo - WTF are you up to today?

The Guardian: "Tim Yeo became the latest senior Tory to rule himself out for the leadership today as party heavyweights gave their support to Michael Howard, who is expected to announce his candidacy this afternoon."

Michael who?

What's Tim Yeo up to? He knows he's the prime choice for Tory leader!

Wait, hang on...

Maybe he knows that I didn't have time to get a bet on yesterday, and he's trying to get me better odds before swooping in for the kill.

Yes, that must be it....

Right, now where did I put that ten squid?

Tim Yeo lays it on the line

Evening Star: Shadow trade secretary and Suffolk South MP Tim Yeo (says) the plotting must stop, adding: "It's time for them to put up or shut up."

Translation: Get the fuck on with it, people! We can't have a leadership race until somebody fires the damn starting pistol.

*BANG*

And they're off!

Michael Howard takes an early lead, closely followed by Kenneth Clarke. David Davis and Oliver Letwin are showing some promising stride, and... wait! What's this? Tim Yeo hasn't even been cleared the weigh-in yet? He's waiting in line behind who? Michael fucking Portillo?

Oh, FFS!

That smug nancy isn't worthy to lick Tim Yeo's boots! (And even if he is, he'd want to wait his turn. In line. Behind me. Yumyumyumyumyumyum.)

Tim Yeo for the leadership!

Torygraph: Tim Yeo, the shadow trade minister, is being urged by friends to stand.

Heh. They can't mean us, can they?

FT.com: Many Portillistas are focusing their energies on persuading Tim Yeo, shadow trade and industry secretary, to stand. One supporter of Mr Yeo said yesterday: "If we have got Howard and Davis definitely standing there's clearly room for a candidate in the centre." But for all the talk it remains possible that the 25 names will not be forthcoming. One MP spoke for many when he said he hoped others would do his "dirty work" for him so he could avoid putting pen to paper.

We take offence at the proximity of Tim Yeo's name to the suggestion that some Tory MPs allow others to do their dirty work for them. This simple isn't Tim Yeo's style, nor that of his supporters (of which, there are dozens).

UPDATE - It's not too late to get a bet down, people.

Go Ye-o, go Ye-o!

Win big with Tim Yeo!

The Guardian: Tim Yeo at 7-1 for Tory party leadership.

There's loose talk of odds as generous as 33 to 1 being offered on The World's Greatest Living Statesman. Get down to the bookies while you can, folks.

(I planned on making a sizeable wager myself, but Ladbrokes don't accept first-borns over 5 years old...)

The rise and rise of Tim Yeo

The Times: "(Theresa) May is being touted by senior Tories as the likely casualty of a reshuffle planned by Mr Duncan Smith if he is cleared of all charges by Sir Philip’s report. Tim Yeo, the Shadow Trade Secretary, is said to have been lined up as a possible new party chairman."

Justice will be served! Power will be his!

Tim Yeo always takes the high road!

Wibbler.com: "Whoever's orchestrating the campaign against Iain Duncan Smith should plainly be the Conservative Party's spin doctor. To blow up an unproved matter of paying your wife money for nothing into something akin to The Hutton Inquiry is a masterpiece."

Tim Yeo, we are sure, is above such cheap tactics. In fact, we suspect he is right now actively seeking out the culprits. While wearing a batsuit, perhaps.

Tim Yeo has friends!

The Guardian: Friends of Tim Yeo, Shadow Trade and Industry Minister, denied suggestions that he might precipitate a crisis by resigning from the Shadow Cabinet. 'People have been trying to tempt him to do that all week, but it would be pretty pointless,' said one.

*sniff*

Nobody asked me for my opinion, and I'm Tim Yeo's bestest friend ever.

Tim Yeo gets whole page to self

Startups.co.uk know which side their bread is buttered on, and have given the soon-to-be-Tory-party-leader and future PM a whole page on which to express his views in this exclusive interview.

UPDATE - Wait! Hold everything! What the hell is this?

"We would want to reverse the way in which the government has reduced the freshold at which union recognition can be compulsory and what to restore the position it was at in 1997."

A freshold? What do time temperature indicators have to do with the price of fish?

It would appear that the shadowy forces behind the Tim Yeo typo conspiracy have struck again.

A stern warning

Anybody attempting to distribute saucy seaside postcards at the Conservative Party Conference will have me to answer to.

Give me a 'T'!!!!!!!!

Tim Yeo, your time is now!

(chants/sings/dances)

Go Ye-o, go Ye-o...

Tim Yeo: the typo conspiracy continues

The long-awaited Issue Zero of The London News Review includes a short and 'amusing' bio of Tim Yeo. Out of the dozen bios published in this issue, only Tim Yeo's contains a typo.

We will not rest until we discover the truth behind this campaign against Mr Yeo. This ongoing and deliberate sabotage is obviously designed to pervert his precious media coverage with deliberate typographical errors.

Initially we suspected a small cartel of liberal journalists, but this appearance in a new and independent publication suggests that it goes even deeper than that.

Be on the lookout in pubs and clubs for a group of disgruntled typesetters! If you are lucky, you may get near enough to hear them plopping their evil plants.