Let's talk about something else for a change....

Tim Yeo - meeting the LEGEND

Last night I actually met demigod of politics, Tim Yeo. I shook him by the hand and introduced myself.

There was not the slightest glimmer of recognition, and that is as it should be.

I am unworthy.

Tim Yeo tackles top-up fees!

In a stirring speech that appears to have reached at least one voter, Tim Yeo questioned the concessions that appear to have persuaded rebel ring leader Nick Brown to back the Government over top-up fees.

Not that changing one's mind is a bad thing....

Besides, you have to hand it to the shadow minister for public services, health, education and cleaning the hamster cage. His plan to source funding by privatising education is sheer brilliance, and we all hope that accountability is worked into the scheme. There are too many students and teachers who spend too much time on activities that appear to be largely academic.

Tim Yeo: He's hungry, and he knows why!

The Times reports Tim Yeo's views on cannabis: "I enjoyed it. It can be a much pleasanter experience than having too much to drink."

Right on, Tim!

*ahem*

Though I am disappointed that in your role as Shadow Secretary of State for Public Services, Health and Education (Public Services? When did that happen? Curse my short term memory loss!) that you didn't point out the health benefits and how very educational it can be.

No matter. This revelation cannot be allowed to pass by.

Tim, I say we bury the hatchet and smoke a peace pipe.

I'll be in town next week; how about it?

You, me and spliff makes three.

I'm sure we'll find something to laugh about in our adventures over the last few months. If not... well, I'm sure we'll find plenty to forget.

Tell you what, we can even make it legal and trip off to the Netherlands for a day or two. I know this great place in Groningen. At least, I think I do. Perhaps I dreamed it....

Tim Yeo targets truancy!

No, we're not talking about students, here (well, not really)... and before you ask, no we're not talking about patients going wandering off without permission, either. What steams Tim's bean is MPs and Ministers not turning up to debates and the level of irony that is involved when the debate in question is about the problem of student truancy.

Of course, Tim Yeo was also absent during this poorly-attended debate, but he was merely living by the words of the great Sun Tzu. And enjoying a delicious lunch with the president of the Royal Society.

Tim Yeo under attack by biased BBC

Bloody BBC scum. Some damn fool at Univent mentions that they've profited from the Labour government's health policies and suddenly the Beeb is all over the story, needlessly repeating ridiculous calls for Tim Yeo to give up his chairmanship of that company.

I call once again for the BBC to be privatised immediately and placed under the direct control of Rupert Murdoch! Such unsubstantiated personal attacks are becoming all-too-common, and cannot be allowed to continue!

Let me spell it out for you:
1. Tim Yeo is shadow health secretary. How does him making a profit from government policy - that he often criticises - amount to a conflict of interest?
2. The demi-God among us that has chosen the human name 'Tim Yeo' is above such petty concerns. Get over it, BBC!

UPDATE - You watch. They'll be digging through Hansard for evidence of wrong-doing during his time as Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State at the Department of Health next. Scum!

Tim Yeo gets yet another job

Not one, but two shadow cabinet positions. Position as director with not one, but two companies. OK, so he's only MP for one constituency, but he more than makes up for that with his new job writing a monthly piece on golf for the Financial Times.

Is there anything this man cannot do? (Except maybe replace his divots...)

Trivia - Tim Yeo provided four written answers on the subject of golf course and/or clubs in his former capacity as Secretary of State for the Environment:
7 May '91 | 15 Oct '91 | 21 Oct '91 | 12 Feb '92

Tim Yeo - they said what?!!

The Independent has dared to host an opinion column questioning Tim Yeo's stance on student top-up fees that describes the Conservatives' proposals as 'political opportunism' and their position as 'untenable and dishonest'.

The chap who wrote it goes by the name of Charles Clarke.

I think with a little bit of work we can track down his personal details and put a brick through his window.

Yep, here you go:
He appears to be based in some place in London called 'Downing St'.

Go get him, folks!

UPDATE - Still no word on poetry by The Master, so here's a new piece by moi:

Brick
Window
Brick, window
Smash, tinkle
Not a very nice brick
Which is why
I threw it away
Honest, officer

I know this one doesn't rhyme, but I'm trying to stretch myself.....

Tim Yeo stands tall against student top-up fees

What a guy! Not content with simply pointing out that the top-up fees are a "clear breach" of Labour's 2001 election manifesto pledge, our hero also saw fit to target the concessions, stating that they turn the proposals into "a complete mess".

He even did a few sums.

(Well, he is the shadow minister for education. Oh, and health. And to answer your question; yes, I'd trust him completely to do open heart surgery on me. I hear he has this new 'bare hand' technique, where he simply plunges his fist through your ribcage and extracts the still-beating heart for a quick fiddle, before putting it back where it came from by shoving it down your throat.)

I think we can take it as read, then, that the only way Tim Yeo will go on this matter is delivering a flat-out 'no'. No fees package, no fees package with concessions. He's completely against the idea, and always has been.

God bless you, Tim Yeo.

PS - I keep getting sharp shooting pains and throbbing in my arms. Are you available for a quick bypass operation next Tuesday?

Hallelujah, brother!

Go tell it on the mountain!

I DO BELIEVE
That people who know nothing about the Interwebnet should shut the fuck up about it.

I DON'T BELIEVE
That I've seen the new 'official' Tim Yeo website that was due way back in autumn.

I DO BELIEVE
That it's going to be of very little help when it does arrive.

I DON'T BELIEVE
That I will give up and go away anytime soon.

I DO BELIEVE
That an apology is still in order... and way overdue.