Tim Yeo speaks out about not speaking up!

Well, it's been a fairly quiet summer from Tim Yeo, but he's just rattled the drum on the subject of nuclear power and made his first public statement regarding the Blair Email affair.

Why no comment from Tim Yeo throughout this long and sorry saga?

Tim Yeo said to FT's Observer: "I thought of the idea independently. From what I have heard of what (Tim Ireland) has been doing, I don't think there would be any benefit in contacting him."

And rightly so (as the saying goes). Some level of propriety must be maintained. To even admit to being fully aware of the activities of a simple rank-and-file blogger would cause the collapse of civilisation as we know it.

This, after all, is a vital aspect of our society that the Tories work to preserve harder than anyone - and there is no better man to lead them back into power than this grand statesman.

We are not worthy to lick his boots.

Tim Yeo and Tony Blair's Email

Now that Tony Blair's email facility is finally live, we can't help but wonder what Tim Yeo will do.

Downing Street's interwebnet team have made it clear that they’ve been working on this for nine months. Tim Yeo began his inspired campaign less than two months ago.

What route will this great statesman take in the face of such difficulty?

You, the reader, have a chance to WIN BIG if you guess correctly!

Will he:
A - Take credit for it
B - Acknowledge the role of the long-running campaign at Bloggerheads
C - Keep very quiet about the whole thing
D - Other: ________________

Please send your best guesses to this eminent author or leave a comment. The first and/or most correct answer will receive a signed copy of this book, now remaindered and therefore highly collectible.

Tim Yeo triumphs again!

As you are no doubt aware, Tim Yeo is entirely responsible for Tony Blair getting an email address.

The inspired Hotmail stunt was a work of genius, but the question tabled in parliament (which was his idea and his idea alone) was the decisive blow.

(How can you possibly doubt this when it is reported to be so at The Register and Kablenet?)

Tim Yeo speaks, and Tony Blair jumps. In fact, Blair's communications department so feared the wrath of this mighty political giant that they actually used a time machine to go 6 months into the past and start work on the facility so it would be ready almost immediately after he demanded it.

Tim Yeo needs your support!

Iain Duncan Smith has given Theresa May a 'personal assurance' that she is not about to be sacked as Conservative Party chairman.

If I'm any judge of politics, this means that she will be packing up her desk by Friday at the latest. And not a moment to soon.

As any fool should know, Tim Yeo is trying to help the Tories by ensuring that conditions are prime for remodelling ahead of the next election. The most vital aspect of this is a new Tory party chairman that he - and we- can trust.

It is vital that you show your support for Tim Yeo in this time of turmoil and uncertainty. Get in touch with Iain Duncan Smith today via this email form, or via direct email at ids@conservatives.com or duncan-smithi@parliament.uk

Let IDS know that Tim Yeo is a political genius matched by no other, and he speaks for all of us here on the Interwebnet.

Do it. Do it now!

Tim Yeo thwarted by Tory throwbacks

The Newcastle Journal is right behind Tim Yeo, but the Guardianistas have dared to suggest that his own party is ganging up against him.

How dare they? How dare they?

Tim Yeo is the very definition of common sense. Each and every move he makes is done with the careful precision of a chess player. Yet he still manages to mix this with a proactive approach.

But somehow, he is held back from the relatively junior position of party chairman when everybody knows that he is the only real choice for leader.

There will be trouble in the coming days, you mark my words. Iain Duncan Smith’s days are numbered.

In fact, Tim Yeo is probably right now lining up a Hotmail address in preparation for a savage and decisive blow.

Tim Yeo urges party to get profeshunal

A well-aimed kidney punch and Theresa May is down!

An earlier strategic cut has blood running down her face, effectively blinding her. She’s crawling on the canvas in a pool of the red stuff and Tim Yeo is dancing around her prone and battered body, blowing kisses to the crowd.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know how to describe this scene…

Tim Yeo backs local boost to broadband

Industry leaders in Suffolk are screaming for BT to introduce broadband access to the area and Tim Yeo is in their corner.

"I would like to see BT accelerate roll out of broadband. I am pleased they are returning to good levels of profit. It would now be very helpful to a lot of businesses and some individuals in rural areas if broadband was available," said our favourite Interwebnet champion.

It takes a great mind to realise that such a simple measure will also result in improved kitten and pornography access county-wide - thereby boosting morale and further improving productivity.

Tim Yeo is obviously in possession of a great, great brain. May God bless him, and may the formaldehyde keep said brain in good nick for many years to come.